Luigi is not dead, because he is not real

Viewers of this morning’s Nintendo Direct unveiling of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate were met with a grim, depressing sight.

Luigi, that green-clothed, loveable, too-often second fiddle to big man on campus Mario, took a dirt nap. Scythed by Castlevania’s Grim Reaper, Luigi’s spirit could be seen escaping his body, presumably off to a better, less violent place.

Thankfully, before anyone wastes any more good or even bad liquor pouring one out for our dead plumber, the voices of calm over at the Nintendo UK VS Twitter channel have an important update:

Whew, what a relief! Nintendo UK VS did not reveal its sources regarding how they knew that Luigi had survived the attack by press time. But, if one has to guess, it’s probably because he’s not real. We’ll report back if anything changes.

[Source: Twitter]

John Dunphy
John Dunphy has written, edited and managed several newspapers, magazines and news websites in both the United States and South Korea. He's written about local government, food, nightlife, Korean culture, beer, cycling, land preservation, video games and more. His love of gaming began with the Atari 2600 but truly came of age on the Super Nintendo. Looking at his staggering surplus of console and PC games yet to be played, he laments the long-ago days of only being able to buy one $70 32-megabyte cartridge and playing it until his hands ached.